This week I was doing some shopping at a drug store while on my lunch break from work. I currently do all of my shopping for myself while on lunch break. It's the only time that I'm not with my 7 month old son and I have the greatest success of actually buying everything that is on my list. This is not a complaint; it's just the way life works right now.
A few weeks earlier I was picking out new nail polish for a fall wedding that I was attending. Ever since the summer of 2003, where I spent my college break, working at a high end spa I only buy Essie nail polish, Essie is expensive nail polish. I'm sure that the price turns people off, but it looks good no matter how haphazardly I paint my nails. And yes I always do my own nails. A few weeks ago I got my first pedicure in nearly four years. My feet had a couple marathons and a 37 week pregnancy wearing on them and it wasn't pretty. I definitely need to go back sooner than 4 years from now.
Essie nail polish also seems to last a lot longer than other nail polishes that I've tried to use. It'll hold up in it's glass bottle for a few years. It's seriously some good stuff. But I digress, that is enough about my love of Essie nail polish.
So I studied the nail polish colors like I was picking out the color of bridesmaids dresses in my wedding. Nail polish is a bold statement. Especially on your fingertips. It is a message that you are sending to the world.
So I picked a dark burgundy. I love dark reds. I love burgundy and maroon. I'm not sure where this love affair started but I would guess in my high school, Uniontown, where the school colors were maroon and white.
But my eyes kept darting to this beautiful black nail polish. It was this gorgeous color called 'licorice'. I wanted it. I wanted it badly.
But then the voices inside my head started talking to me.
'"You have a corporate job.'"
""You're a mom now."
"You remember what happened the last time you painted your finger nails black."
So I left the black nail polish behind, quite pleased with myself for showing self control and not buying the nail polish that I desperately wanted.
The last time I painted my fingernails black was about ten years ago. I so excited about them. I felt fierce when I wore black and I was feeling fierce with my newly painted black fingernails. Then the comments started coming.
"Are you going goth?"
"Are you depressed?"
I was neither of these things, but the questions I started receiving made me so sad that I promptly removed my black nail polish and didn't wear it again for ten years.
When I was in elementary school, one of my teachers asked what my favorite color was. I replied, "Black." She told me that my favorite color couldn't be black so I had to pick another one. I picked "Blue". Don't get me wrong, I love the color blue, but it doesn't make me feel the same way wearing black does.
My friends sometimes tease me that I need to wear different colors. I need to brighten up my wardrobe. It's true. A good bit of my workout clothes are black. My formal wear is mostly an assortment of black dresses. I feel good wearing black.
So this week I went back to the drug store and bought the black nail polish. It's currently on my toenails as I type this post. Whenever I find some down time I plan on painting my fingernails with it. I'm not going to make apologies for it this time around. My favorite color is black and there is nothing wrong with that.
Author: Sarah Warman
I like to run, take pictures and write. I've combined all three in this blog.